You Know You're Trans* When...

K: Hey! Thank you :)

I think it is, yes!

K: It completely varies! On the NHS, I believe, it can take anywhere between 1-3 years and privately it only takes a couple of months. It depends on which route you decide to take, where you live and which GIC you get referred to because they all have different waiting lists (if you choose NHS).

K: You have to be, at least, 18 years old and you do not need to be on testosterone to have top surgery. I know many people who have chosen not to go on testosterone, or want top surgery first, to have gotten it done first.

K: I’m glad! Because that’s exactly what this blog was created for :)

K: Aside from talking to her so she understands what it means to be FTM, I’d explain to her that you are trying to be happy with being who you are and that you are taking steps towards being who you are/was meant to be!

K: Hello! Taking time to think and make sure you’re heading on the right path is never a bad thing. If you feel this would benefit you, then take a little while to figure things out. There’s no rush to transition even though you may want to start things off as soon as possible. Taking the time to accept it yourself is important.

However, if you’re dead certain of what you want to do then go ahead! You could start with socially transitioning by telling a small amount of people, getting them to call you by your chosen pronouns/name and see how you feel. You could then after a while extend the amount of people who know and go from there.

K: You don’t necessarily need to talk to him about it, although this is a good idea! If you’re nervous about talking to him about it then you could allow him to guide you in the bedroom for the first time (or few). Soon you’ll get to know what he’s okay with, likes and dislikes.

For example, a few people I have slept with just left what we did up to me for the first few times and very soon they just knew what I was good with and as they felt more comfortable talking about sex they could just ask.

If you do want to talk with him about his boundaries, how it’ll work etc then sit him down and say that you feel you both are heading in the direction of being intimate and you want to know what’s okay and how it’ll work, in general, because you’ve never been in this situation before.

K: It’s great that you’re having a lot of support! Some people find it very difficult to accept or come to terms with. And even when they do accept it, it can take a little while longer for them to start using the correct name and pronouns. For example, my parents fully accepted and supported me in my transition but it still took them 3 years to use my name and pronouns.

For a lot of people it isn’t that they aren’t supportive but it’s simply a case of getting out of old habits. This could be the reason your Father has not yet started using the correct name. I’d suggest sitting down to talk with him about how it makes you feel and find out how he feels about your transition. Maybe suggest to him that he makes a little more effort and that aslong as you can see he’s trying, you can forgive the mistakes. A short talk can do wonders!

If your Father is refusing to call you by your correct name because he isn’t accepting of your transition then still try to talk to him about it. Try to get him to understand what it means etc. Find some resources online and give them to him to read and make sure he knows you’re there if he has any questions. Most of the time people refuse to accept it because they don’t understand it and on some level feel you can control it.

K: Of course! You have the right to ask to be referred to any pronouns you wish and are comfortable with.